Single Parenthood: Ready or Not

I remember the day that I fully grasped that I would be a single mom. In an instant, everything I had planned for myself I could literally visualize being flushed down a toilet. It’s the world that we live in that tells us that once you have kids, life as you know it is over. All my dreams were shattered, fears brought to the forefront, and doubts heightened. I was completely consumed with the idea that my life’s story had now been written for me. It took me a while to get out of that headspace. To be honest, I probably spent about a year and a half being fearful of my future and broken in my present. 

It’s not that I didn’t trust or believe that God would take care of me. I had just placed my goals above His and He was out of my focus. Now that I’ve made it through that broken season and I have my head on straight (Praise Jesus), I heard the Hillsong United song “Ready or Not” that amazed me how it so perfectly addressed each one of my struggle areas during that season. I see it as a testimonial song, reminding me where I was and how God’s faithfulness remained true.

“Come now, tired, broken, scared”. I was tired physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I was broken from not having a grip on any plan. I was scared from not feeling confident in my direction or situation.

“Come now. Bring your hopes, your dreams, your doubts”. I was hopeful of having the traditional family. I had dreams of excelling in my career. I was doubtful of not being able to accomplish either. 

But then, of course, Hillsong weaves in the ultimate redemption story that Jesus was gracious enough to invite me into during my darkest moments. “He welcomes the broken. He’s our rock solid hope. He’s already doing MORE. He’s already seen us through. He’s already on the move. He’s already gone ahead of us, and He’s ready when we are. Come, Are You Ready?”

Do you have chills yet?! Each one of those statements is loaded with power. Each one independent of the other representing a characteristic of Christ that only He can provide. “Ready or Not” reminds me that my future is not in danger — it’s the opposite! “He’s already on the move…He’s already doing more”!

It’s only by God’s grace and compassionate heart towards me in my brokenness that I was able to fully embrace single parenthood, ready or not. He took me by the hand and showed me that I could rely on Him for guidance and direction when I could not see the way forward. I wasn’t ready for the new lifestyle, the new direction, the shifted focus, and so forth — but He was. I used to be fearful of the future and broken in my present, but now I’m trusting in my future and confident in my present.

The sun will rise tomorrow. How will we approach the day ahead? I encourage us to not look at it from the lens of being broken, tired, scared, or doubtful. I urge you to be confident in Jesus’ promises and develop a conqueror mentality. Not because you can do all things, but because HE can do all things when you are ready to trust Him, ready or not for the road ahead.

Then ultimately, when we shift our eyes from “woe is me” to “great is He”, we will truly start to see our days in a different light. He will go before and prepare us for what is ahead. Single parenthood from sun up to sun down — and we will be ready.