Overcoming Doubt: Anchoring Your Questioning Teen’s Faith

The teen years are a time of growth and development. Teens are starting to develop ideas and passions of their own. This can be a season where teens tend to question and wonder about many things, including their faith. As parents, our desire is that through this time, we can address and overcome any doubts our teens have about faith to ensure that the truth of God’s promises remains their own personal anchor, rather than them only being anchored to your faith.

There are many ways to help your teens overcome their doubts and develop strong convictions and faith, but let’s focus on three main ways we can point our teens to the truth of scripture.

Allow All Questions

The most important aspect of any season of doubt is openness. If your teen does not feel that they can ask questions or challenge thoughts, then their doubts may go undetected by you. They will attempt to reason out their faith within their hearts, with peers or based on the influences around them.

By creating a culture of openness—one where kids feel free to express their thoughts respectfully even when they are contrary to your own— you will be able to help them through their questions and concerns.

One way to foster this openness in your family is to make discussion a regular part of your lives. Use mealtimes or car rides to pose questions and ask your children what they think. Respond respectfully, even if you disagree with their conclusions. Follow Jesus’ example of “speaking the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15, NIV).

Christian best-selling author Sally Clarkson mentions how her husband would hand her teens newspaper articles in the morning and tell them he wanted to hear their thoughts in the evening. This way, world events and cultural issues were discussed openly rather than in private.

If children know that they can come to you when they make mistakes, desire something they know you might not enjoy or even disagree with you, you create an open door to their hearts and thoughts.

This will give you multiplied influence and the opportunity to talk with them about any issues that occur in their lives.

Test All Things

Whenever a teen has a doubt, send them to God’s Word. Teach them where truth is found. Allow them to read different points of view and test which opinions seem to have the right answers.

Our pastor’s faith was challenged in his late teens, and he said it was the intentional practice of evaluating faith against other world beliefs that allowed him to realize that Christianity was true.

Resources such as “Ask Pastor John,” where a pastor takes a question and analyzes it through the lens of scripture, can be useful when working through your kids’ questions.

Parents are often afraid that doubt is a bad thing, but passing through doubt can actually strengthen faith rather than weaken it.

Don’t be afraid to allow questioning teens to compare different views. But teach them to test them, as scripture says in 1 Thessalonians 5:21 (NKJV): “Test all things; hold fast what is good.”

Provide Mentors

Some teens struggle with making their faith their own because they think it is just something their parents believe. Be open to providing other mentors and influences in their lives who can show them that many different people share their beliefs.

You can also help your teen find a mentor. Consider a college student at your church, an elder or youth leader, their favorite Sunday school teacher from childhood or a grandparent. Any of these could become a voice of truth that speaks into their life and affirms the truth of the scriptures to them.

This process coincides with scripture’s continual admonishment to “get wisdom” (Proverbs 4:5, KJV)

In the same vein, they should be provided with resources they can learn from, such as podcasts, books about missionaries, or magazines that provide additional examples of people who were convinced that God’s Word was true and were willing to live and die for it.

Many of the people who are sharing their stories will have experienced doubts themselves, which can help your teen realize that doubts don’t prove that faith is wrong. Doubts are simply a process of strengthening our faith.

Normalize, Don’t Shame

First and foremost, remember that doubts are normal. Don’t shame your teen. Welcome their doubts with open arms the way Jesus opened His arms to Nicodemus and the woman at the well.

Allow and welcome their questions as you work together on the development of their faith. This is an important step in their spiritual journey, and you may find the process strengthens your faith as well.