Conversations Every Christian Couple Should Have

Sometimes, having hard conversations is simply unavoidable, even when you are a loving, married couple. For Christian couples, it is necessary to have conversations about faith, the Bible and God to maintain a healthy relationship. Here are ten conversations every Christian couple should have.

Communicate About Communication

I know what you must be thinking. But yes, talking about communication is necessary to maintain a healthy relationship. Begin by opening a dialogue about how you communicate best.

When conflicts arise, try to choose “I” phrases to avoid making the other person assume they are being blamed.

For example, if you and your husband are arguing and you say something like, “You ignore me and dismiss how I feel,” your husband could respond defensively. Conversely, saying something like, “I don’t feel heard. It is important to me when…” will send a different message and likely lead to a more constructive discussion.

What does God say about communication? Quite a lot.

He wants us to come to Him in thoughtful prayer and ask for wisdom (James 1:5). He wants to be invited to communicate with you and your husband as well. Communication is so important to God that He details how we should both practice active listening (James 1:19) and consider the words we use (Proverbs 25:11-15).

The Scripture Conversation

Incorporate time each day to read the Bible and discuss what you read. There are many Bible reading plans and apps, with just as many devotionals. I like Our Daily Bread and First 5.

2 Timothy 3:16-17 encourages us that “All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.”

Talk About Burdens

In times of struggle, we build character. Keeping our faith in those moments grounds us in God’s love. God wants to be at the forefront of those burdens to lead you out, but He doesn’t want you to do it alone.

Galatians 6:2 (NIV) encourages us to “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

Who better to help carry your burdens than your spouse and vice versa? Couples need to talk openly. Pray together. Read the scripture together. Lean on each other.

Finances Are a Big One

Talking about money and budgets is one of the most important conversations between husbands and wives. The issue should also be discussed with God.

Don’t be afraid to ask for God’s wisdom. He wants us to come to Him.

Amos 3:3 (NIV) indicates that He wants us to have these conversations and agree with one another in our marriage. “Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?”

Conversations about daily, weekly, and monthly budgets are imperative, as is planning for vacations and retirement.

Talk About Your Hopes

Our hopes and dreams are as important as our combined ones. We need to have faith that those hopes can come to fruition.

Romans 5:5 (NIV) says, “Hope does not put us to shame because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”

Conversations about our hopes and dreams and discussing God’s plan for our lives anchor our marriage and pull us closer together.

Children and Big Discussions

Every Christian couple needs to discuss if and when they want kids.

When expecting a baby, check in with each other. After having a baby, check in with each other. The statement that children are a joy and a gift (Psalm 127:3) is true. The statement that being responsible for tiny versions of us is stressful is also true.

Managing that stress includes communicating with your partner, reassuring your faith through scripture, and carrying each other.

Having conversations with each other about our feelings when our kids were babies would have saved us a long time of unnecessary hurt feelings. All three babies spent time in the NICU after they were born. Two of the kids had some frightening events when they were tiny.

God saw us through it and healed our kids. I don’t think either of us had ever prayed so hard. But we only had a conversation about it much later. He thought he needed to put on a brave face. I felt guilty for falling apart.

He could have cried. I could have been stronger for him.

We both could have talked about it much sooner than we did.

Discuss Growth and Change

The only thing that is guaranteed in life is that change is inevitable. God wants us to use the opportunity of change to look for Him and grow.

Take Ruth, for instance. Her life was a whirlwind. What if she had followed tradition rather than traveling with Naomi?

That change and growth led her to her husband, who was impressed by her approaching him with conversation.

Ruth sings praises in this regard in Ruth 4:15.

Talk About Your Childhood

Our childhoods shape us. The experiences of that time often dictate how we view the world and everyone in it. Couples should talk about their perceptions of marriage and details about their past that could come up in marriage.

Once that conversation is completed, we can discuss our concerns and take the matter to God.

After this conversation, we can practice Isaiah 43:18-19 and forget the former while enjoying the present.

Share About Your Hobbies

Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 10:31 (NIV), “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”

Talk about your interests and encourage each other. Talk about how God should be involved in those interests.

He gave us individual gifts that we are meant to share. We should have faith in that and encourage our better halves to do the things they love.

My husband plays guitar and enjoys collecting and fixing them up. When we were dating, I didn’t know anything about it. I chose to learn and encourage him. This brought us closer together.

On the same token, I love to read and write. Romance novels aren’t his thing, but he reads some of them so we can talk about them, and he edits my creative writing. He often requests a rom-com movie for date night because he knows I love them.

Christian couples should talk about their interests and hobbies. It is good to do things together but also separately sometimes as well.

Sex

There. I said it.

If you were brought up like me, this word might have been uncomfortable, even taboo.

Remember 1 Corinthians 7:4 (NIV), “The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.”

Conversations should include likes, dislikes, fantasies, and, if you have kids, planning!

Build Each Other Up

When having conversations with your husband, I ask that you ponder1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV), “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”