5 Ways to Keep Your Marriage Anchored in Christ

One of the best things we can do for our marriages is to keep them anchored in Christ. How do we do this?

It takes more than just going to church together on Sundays and praying around the dinner table. While these are great habits for a healthy Christian household, they’re not enough to truly ground your relationship in Christ.

I want you to think about a literal anchor for a minute. It’s a heavy piece of metal that holds a boat secure in one spot. It keeps the vessel from drifting away during wind and storms. Some who bear the title “Christian” may keep Jesus on their boat as more of an inner tube for floating on when the waters are calm, or maybe as a life preserver, just in case they need him.

What does it look like to make Christ our true anchor in our lives and marriages? Here are five ways you can keep your marriage anchored in Christ.

Stay Rooted in the Word

You need to stay rooted in God’s Word. If you picture Christ as an anchor for your boat, spending time in God’s Word sinks the anchor deeper into the ground. When you’re not consistently reading your Bible, the anchor loosens from the sand.

In a marriage, both spouses should spend regular (even daily) time in the Word.

“Everyone who comes to me and hears my words and does them, I will show you what he is like: he is like a man building a house who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when a flood arose, the stream broke against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built” (Luke 6:47-49, ESV).

Talk About God Freely With One Another

If you’re an open book who loves sharing what’s on your heart and mind with others, talking about your relationship with God may come naturally to you. For the rest of us, it can be uncomfortable at first, even with our spouses. I recommend reading Scripture together regularly. This joint activity creates a natural opportunity to discuss the passage you read.

When you’re anchored in Christ, He is an abundant part of your everyday life. He doesn’t just come up in conversation at church or in community groups. He comes up on car rides, around the dinner table, on date nights, and more. Our love for Christ should overflow into every part of our lives and marriages.

“Sing to the Lord, bless his name; tell of his salvation from day to day. Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous works among all the peoples!” (Psalm 96:2-3, ESV).

Reflect God’s Love to One Another

We, as the church, are Christ’s bride. He leads us, cleanses us, and loves us so deeply that He laid down His life for us. The church is made spotless before Him, and we respond in love, respect, and submission to Him.

Our marriages should be filled with God’s deep, selfless love. As men of God, our husbands should lead us in Christ and love us as they love themselves. As wives, our hearts should incline toward submission and respect for our husbands.

“However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband” (Ephesians 5:33, ESV).

Ask For and Offer Prayer

If you haven’t already, start asking for and offering prayer. I don’t know about you, but it’s difficult for me to ask for anything, let alone prayer. Sometimes, I like to think, for some ridiculous reason, that I can do it all on my own. We can’t do it alone in our Christian walk. We need God, and we need each other.

Admitting that you’re struggling or that something is going on in your life is vulnerable. In marriages, we’re on the same team, and we’re there to support one another. One of the best ways we can do that is to pray for one another.

Going to your spouse with what’s on your heart and asking them to pray for you can sometimes feel awkward, but it strengthens your bond. Praying for—or with—your spouse is one of the best ways to connect to them and Christ at the same time.

If your spouse doesn’t usually ask for prayer or share openly, you can be the one to ask, “Hey, how can I be praying for you this week?”

“And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people” (Ephesians 6:18, ESV).

Find Your Hope in Christ, Not Your Spouse.

You need to find your hope in Christ.

I know, I know. What about our spouses being our “other half,” “our rock,” “our safe place,” or any other of the cheesy yet comforting analogies?

Yes, they should be the person we trust most in this world and the person we can rely on to always be there for us, but our true resting place and sense of security must be found in Christ alone.

Just like us, our spouses are only human. We can’t put impossible expectations on them because, at one point or another, they’re bound to let us down. We’ll let them down too.

When our rock is Jesus Christ, we can rest in his perfect love and extend the same grace we receive from him to our spouses.

“The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold” (Psalm 18:2, ESV).

Christ as an Anchor—Not a Floaty

The truth of it is that if we’re not intentional about spending time with God and making him a part of our day-to-day lives, we will start to drift away.

God should not just be an option in our lives or marriages but the source of strength that we rely on. If both spouses are tethered to the anchor, Christ can keep us on solid ground.