How to Create a Calming Thanksgiving in Your Home

Too often, the Thanksgiving holidays get labeled as a time of frazzled busyness and exhaustion.

As parents, we want our children to have it all, even if it means early morning flights across the country to see loved ones or detailed preparations for every dish on November’s most memorable Thursday.

It doesn’t have to be this way.

Just as Jesus teaches us new ways of living and being in this world, “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control” (Galatians 5:22-23). In this way, focusing on the fruits of the Spirit really can foster harmony during the Thanksgiving season.

Curious for more? Here are six ideas on how to create a calming Thanksgiving in your home.

1. Create a little bit of margin. I’m a big fan of not filling up the schedule for the sake of filling up the schedule. Thanksgiving is no exception. Whether you’re traveling or staying at home, leave room for conversations, for a memorable time together, and rest by creating margin in your life. Some of my favorite Thanksgiving memories stem from those moments of downtime when we didn’t have anything on the schedule and let the spirit of the moment shape the day! As one writer advises, “Give yourself some margin, and your Thanksgiving will be happier and less stressful.” Let the spirit of peace reign in your house through the simple act of creating a margin.

Matthew 11:28 says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” This verse encourages us to release burdens and find true rest, aligning well with the idea of creating a margin during Thanksgiving.

2. Declutter your house if you can. I say this not to add one more thing to your list but to simply recognize the power of tidying up a little bit. As it goes, our family often spends half an hour on a Saturday or Sunday participating in a tidying-up Power (Half) Hour. We box up left-behind board games, carry extra sports equipment down to the garage, and gather up dirty socks found in dark corners of the children’s bedroom. For holiday gatherings, we do, as one blog recommends, “focus on cleaning only the parts of your house your guests will use.” By doing this ahead of time, we lean into the spirit of self-control, knowing our environment will be that much calmer during the season.
3. Make it a potluck! Truth be told, I have never prepared an entire Thanksgiving meal by myself. Even though I’ve been in charge of several critical elements, such as the turkey, the mashed potatoes, and the pumpkin pie, I haven’t made the whole meal because I’ve always participated in a potluck in one form or another. I appreciate one writer’s dare only to cook one thing on Thanksgiving (and assign one thing, in turn, to each of the guests). By sharing the wealth of this bounty of food, I believe we’re further participating in a spirit of goodness. The gifts of God for the people of God, I tell you!

4. Take a moment for yourself. Call it the calm before the storm or simply the peace that comes before the chaos, but it’s so important to “savor the stillness before the storm of cooking, family, and friends descends upon your house.” In the past, I’ve purposefully taken a shower (and engaged in an elongated getting-dressed process) the hour before guests arrived. Other times, I’ve read a book, sat in the backyard garden by myself, or taken the dog for a walk. Whatever it is for you, taking time for yourself also helps usher in a spirit of gentleness when it comes to tackling all that lies ahead. Suddenly, you find you’re not so short with the child who runs through the kitchen or the rude uncle who makes unnecessary comments at the dinner table. Gentleness becomes our response.

Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger,” highlighting the value of taking a calming moment to ensure gentleness with family members. This aligns with fostering patience and kindness toward guests, even in potentially stressful moments.

5. Bring on the smiles. Now tell me, is there a better way to relax than by laughing? One writer suggests giving everyone their official “turkey name” by referring to the printable chart found on this page. Guests take the first letter of their name and pair it with the month they were born. The letter “K” stands for “Butterball,” and the letter “S” stands for “Yam Bam”; April becomes “Pie Head,” and August is “Feather Bottom.” Put them together, and Hot Buns McTurkey (as my first name and birth month now read) is more than eager to add a little laughter to the day. I don’t know about you, but there’s always room to let loose the spirit of joy on Thanksgiving Day!

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 reads, “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus,” emphasizing the spirit of joy and gratitude. It encourages finding joy and gratitude, no matter the situation.

6. Skip cooking altogether and order a meal instead. For some of us, the stress of planning, shopping, and cooking is just too much. Why not support a local business and order Thanksgiving to-go this year? Even though it was hard not being with family and friends during the pandemic, the four of us still ate an amazing feast in 2020 and didn’t lift a finger ourselves. We were grateful for the restaurant that fed us, just as we loved the extra time of relaxation with one another. Not only do you take the pressure off yourself, but you leave more room for the spirit of love to enter into your home on Thanksgiving Day.

These six ideas might help you create a calming Thanksgiving in your home and focus on embodying the fruits of the Spirit.

Fostering harmony during the Thanksgiving season really can be a reality!